Monday, September 14, 2009

White After Labor Day?

Today at work, I saw a survey being taken on a whiteboard. It was a simple yes or know question - Is it "OK" to wear white after labor day?

Anybody who knows me knows that this question has absolutely no bearing on me, because (a) I own very little in the way of white clothing, and (b) fashion be damned. The question, however, did start my gears turning...where did this seemingly preposterous rule come from? What possible reason could there be not to wear white after labor day?

I started thinking about it, and I arrives at a very interesting (and rather geeky) hypothesis: The "no white after labor day" rule was originally created as an assassin deterrent.

Labor day comes at the beginning of September. Winter will soon be coming, with all that snow (very soon if you live farther north). What color would be best to conceal oneself in the snow? White, of course. Clearly, white is the color of choice for any wintertime assassin.

Assassins, however, are notoriously fashionable people. If you're going to "inhume" a person, it's terribly rude to do a poor job of it, and that applies to one's attire as much as to one's methods. A sloppily dressed assassin just won't do - it reflects poorly on the assassin, his guild, and the profession in general.

Thus, a particularly savvy individual, fearing a cold-weather assassination, declared the wearing of white after labor day to be uncouth. Unfortunately, this individual was doubtless inhumed anyway - There's always night, and black is always in.

Another question just came to mind - when is it OK to start wearing white again?

1 comment:

  1. You are such a geek. I was giggling my way through this post.

    BTW - Memorial day is when it is 'okay' to wear white again.